Fighting for Freedom
by starlight6252
Summary: "Is it possible to love someone so much that you hurt them?" WARNING: SLIGHTLY DARK THEMES Pairings: Bellamy /oc, John Murphy /oc, Jasper /oc, and bits of Lincoln /oc -Same oc-
1. Chapter 1

**First 100 Fanfic, so sorry if it sucks :(**

"Julie? Julie please wake up?" I heard a soft voice saying.

My eyes snapped open. At first I didn't see anything, for my vision was too blurry, but then everything cleared and I saw who was in front of me.

"Jasper?" I gasped out, seeing the boy in front of me. He gave me a playful smiles.

I shot out of my seat that I was placed in and through my arms around him. I ignored the burning pain in the back of my head. I squeezed him tightly.

"Hey, Jules, how've you been?" he let out in a laugh.

"Oh Jasper. I've missed you so much!" I cried out.

"Trust me, Jules. I missed you way more."

I pulled away and looked him in the eye. "How did you get here? Visiting isn't until next month. I can't believe you got into my cell!"

Jasper's smile suddenly fell. A serious look arose on his face. "Jules, we're on the ground."

I shook my head at him. "What are you talking about?"

He stepped aside, and I saw a blinding light coming from a few feet away. It seemed to open into what a forest would have looked like. Except, that's impossible, we're on the Ark.

"Jasper, quit playing. Where are we?" I asked looking around. This was not my cell. "Where's Monty?" I referenced to my other best friend.

"Jules, you sat with him on the launch down" Jasper now seemed panicked. "How do you not remember?"

"Jasper, I-"

"Jules..." he cut off. He touched the back of my head. I winced. He pulled his hand back to show me. I saw blood. "You hit your head, what's the last thing you remember?"

"I-I just got convicted. They took me into the cell the other day. I haven't been out yet" I told him. I brushed my hands over his shoulder. "Did you break me out? Is that what this is?"

Jasper stared at me. "Jules, you've been locked up for five months."

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "That's impossible, I-"

I stopped myself as I caught sight of my arms. They were healed, no sign of bruising or cuts. But that was impossible. "What...?"

Jasper took a hold of my arm too roughly. I quickly pulled back.

"Jules, please, you have to see this" he told me. He reached out for my arm again. This time I didn't pull away.

He directed me to where the bright light came from. He jumped down the small step. I hesitated.

"Jasper, where-"

"Shh..." he told me. "just come on."

I hesitated only a second longer before jumping after him. An incredible pain hit my leg. I tumbled to the ground. Jasper was at my side in an instant.

"Jules..." he tried to help me up, but I pulled away again. This time because I was so fascinated by what I was touching. Dirt. I had only really felt it once, and that was when I stole it from the small tree the Ark held sacred. Jasper and Monty scolded him horribly for it, and I never did it again.

But feeling this dirt...

I scooped it up in my hand and covered my face in it, and then began rubbing it over all the skin I could find.

"Oh my God, Jules!" I heard Jasper suddenly say. "I think you hit your head too hard. I'll be right back. Monty told me there's a doctor here."

I heard his footsteps walking away. I rolled onto my back. I felt all the dirt I put on trickling down and off my skin. I saw a bright light above me. The Sun. I don't know how or why, but I'm actually on Earth. I close my eyes and smiled.

"Julianna Rejo? How have you been?"

My eyes snapped open. My breathing quickened and I became tense. I knew that voice way too well. I scrambled to my feet to see none other than John Murphy, surrounded by a few colleagues. They were all laughing at me, probably due to my appearance.

"John" I nodded towards him, before quickly making my way to leave. My limp made me slow though. He blocked my path.

"I must say, Jules, this is probably the last place I would expect you to be. Here on Earth. Surrounded by criminals..." He took a step closer, causing me to back up. He let out a chuckle.

"Really? Because this is exactly where I thought you would end up" I snapped at him. I brushed some of the remaining dirt off of my jacket.

I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face. I hated how he easily made me feel scared and vulnerable. However, it didn't work, and he only smirked more. John Murphy has been able to scare me since I was a kid.

"What'd you do short stuff, huh? How did you get sent down here?" He sized up by looking me up and down. I saw him smirk to himself.

"I don't have to answer you" I suddenly snapped. I once again tried to push passed him, but this time he grabbed my arm, jerking me back towards him. I accidentally made impact with his chest.

"Actually, Jules, you do." I glared at him as he used that name. Only Jasper and Monty were allowed to call me that.

He looked ahead and seemed to be amused and happy about something going on in the distance. "And here's why."

He let go of my arm and led his small group over near the drop ship. Four other people were there. Jasper, Monty, a blonde girl, and the Chancellor's son.

They seemed to be arguing. John stepped forward. "Whoa, whoa. Calm down, he's with us."

I felt myself frown in confusion. Why would Jasper and Monty be with someone like John?

John began arguing viciously with the Chancellor's son. A crowd began forming. I wanted to leave, but my attention was brought back when John launched a punch at the boy, causing him to completely tumble over.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed.

I ran up to John, ignoring my leg pain again, and grabbed his arm before he could do anymore damage to the boy.

"John, what is wrong with you? Stop!"

"Relax, Jules, I'm just teaching a lesson to the man who floated your father and my family" he smirked.

"It wasn't him" I tried to tell him. "It was our laws. The only people who truly were at fault were the people who broke them."

John set his sharp gaze on me. He looked frustrated from my statement. He quickly shoved me to the ground. I quietly cried out from the throbbing in my head and on my leg.

"Hey, Goggles, keep an eye on her" he commanded.

I was surprised to find that Jasper grabbed a hold of me tightly, and that both he and Monty had followed John's orders.

"Jasper?" I asked. "Why are you with him?"

"Best candidate" Jasper whispered to me. He was so close I could feel his breath sweep over my neck. I involuntarily let out a shiver.

I watched the Chancellor's son get up to a standing position. He raised his fists towards John. John mimicked his actions with a smirk. "Alright."

Suddenly, a boy hopped down from on top of the ship I had come out of only a few short moments ago.

"Kid's got one leg" he said. "Why don't you wait for a fair fight."

I let out a sigh of relief. The boy caught my eye.

"And pushin' down girls? Not cool, bro?"

I felt my cheeks heat up from the sudden attention. John looked at me and muttered something I couldn't understand before stomping away.

"Hey, spaceboy!" called a girl with brown hair. "Rescue me next?"

I laughed quietly to myself. She was cuddling close to another boy. I looked closer to see that it was-

I froze. He couldn't be here. He wasn't under eighteen. He wasn't a criminal. He wasn't supposed to be on this ship. I wasn't supposed to see him again. And he wasn't supposed to he staring right at me.

Bellamy Blake was _not_ supposed to be staring right at me.

As soon as our eyes locked he opened his mouth. He looked as if he were going. Quickly, I spun around, I found Jasper and Monty to be still only a few feet away from me.

Monty held a guilty look. "Jules, please don't be mad-"

I cut him off. I threw my arms around him in a hug, much like a did to Jasper. He seemed to take it by surprise.

"Jules?" he asked. I pulled away. "Monty! I'm so glad to see you!"

He looked at me unsure. "Jules, we rode down together."

Jasper whispered to him. "That's what we need the doctor for."

Monty got a sickly expression on his face. "But-"

A hand came down on each of their shoulder. I looked up to see the same boy who had kept John from beating up the Chancellor's son.

"I need you two" he told them. He began pulling them away, but I got between them.

"Wait."

I reached up and gave Jasper a kiss on the cheek. I did the same to Monty. "Hurry back from wherever you're going" I told them.

"I promise" Jasper told me. He reached up to the back of the jacket and pulled up my hood. "That should help your head wound from getting hit easily." I smiled.

"It'll also keep the no-good criminal boys' eyes off you" Monty added. I smiled widely at him.

"As soon as I get back to you the doctor will fix you" Jasper told me, pointing to the blonde girl who was at the disagreement a few moments ago. She wasn't paying attention to us.

"Yeah, and then we can talk about what you said on the ride down" Monty said. Him and Jasper were then dragged away.

I stood there wondering what that meant. I wondered how much memory I had really lost. I wondered if it had been anything important. I also wondered what I was going to do stuck on a planet with not only John Murphy, but also Bellamy Blake.


	2. Chapter 2

I was awoken from my small amount of sleep by a loud scream. It was followed by cheering, a lot of cheering. More screaming was from this large group of noise, and I realized that I wouldn't be getting back to sleep until I figured out what it was.

I begrudgingly stood to my feet and walked towards the commotion. The first thing I noticed was a huge fire in the middle of a large crowd of people. I was able to push my way my way through a few people, but I didn't get far.

A hand came down on my shoulder. I turned to see Wells, the Chancellor's son.

"You shouldn't be here" he said. His face masked actual concern.

"Wells?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

He grabbed my wrist and held it up in front of us both.

"This" he said, eyes directed towards my bracelet contacting the ark, "will get you in trouble."

He took my sleeve with his free hand and pulled it over the bracelet, hiding it completely.

I sent him a smile. "Thanks, Wells, I didn't know about-"

"Get your hands off her!" A sudden voice snapped.

Wells quickly dropped my wrist and we both turned to see Bellamy Blake. The king himself.

I backed up a few steps from just seeing him. He wasn't fazed by my retreat though, he just came closer to the two of us. He sized up Wells.

"What do you think you're doing, Chancellor?" Bellamy demanded.

"Listen, I wasn't trying to start anything-"

"Of course you were" Bellamy interrupted. "You were trying to feel up Julia."

"I was trying to protect her" Wells said. "Protect her from you and your brainwashed subjects."

Wells spoke in an accusing voice. He looked as though he were going to start a fight with Bellamy. However, I knew he was too smart for that.

"Julia can protect herself" Bellamy told him. "I've seen her fight first hand."

A sudden rage inflicted in my body from what he just said, from what he just referred to.

"Shut up, Bellamy!" I snapped.

His eyes suddenly snapped to me. He held a sharp gaze on me. There was a terrifying flame in his eyes that I didn't like.

As soon as our eyes met I felt my face pale. All anger was gone, all courage I had was gone, all fight was gone. As soon as I locked eyes with Bellamy Blake every emotion I had was replaced by fear.

I began stepping back once again, but this time someone caught me. An arm held onto each of my shoulders.

"Hey, Jules" I heard a smirk in John's voice.

I turned and found myself ripping from his reach.

"Woah" he yelled, holding his arms up. "Someone's jumpy. You ready to get your wristband off, babe?"

"John, don't-"

I felt a single arm touch my shoulder this time. But the touch was much more familiar. This time I found myself ripping away from the touch, but running TO John.

I hid behind him, grasping his left arm tightly for comfort.

"What the-" John didn't understand my actions.

Bellamy stood watching me more, an unpleased expression across his face. He glanced at John for a moment before back at me. He held a serious posture for a moment before breaking into a smile. An eerie smile in my opinion.

"Come on, Julia" he chuckled. He held his hand out for me. "I'll get that wristband off your arm, then I'll find you something to eat."

John began to move, and I began to feel myself panicking. I could picture Bellamy grabbing my arm. He would take off the wristband and then take me to the forest. He would tell people he was getting me something to eat, and then take me somewhere secluded. Somewhere where no one would see us, or hear us.

I clutched John's arm tighter, and pulled myself against him. "No, John! Don't leave!"

John suddenly stilled and I felt him stiffen. "Jules, what's wrong?"

Bellamy's eyes had widened. His serious expression came back in an instant. His voice became stricter. "Julia, stop messing around. Come with me right now."

"Bellamy, what's this about-"

"Shut up, Murphy. Give her to me" Bellamy demanded.

At first John didn't move, but then I felt him shrugging me off his shoulder.

"No" I gasped out.

John paid no mind to me as he was trying to unattach me from his arm. "John" he didn't look at me though. He was already following orders. Bellamy's orders.

He took ahold of my shoulder, and threw me in the direction of Bellamy. He caught me by the waist. I let out a scream and began struggling in his grip.

"_Shut up_" he hissed in my ear.

"Bellamy, what the Hell?" Wells voice pierced through. For a moment, I forgot he was there. "Let her go!"

"Murphy already dealt with you once" Bellamy told him. "So why don't you piss off and save us the trouble of having to do it again."

"Bellamy, people are starting to look" John mumbled.

I looked around and noticed the people who's attention was long ago drawn away from the fire.

Bellamy loosened his hold on me. I took the chance by quickly shoving my way out of his grip and back to John. I wasn't sure if he would protect me, but Wells wasn't an option. He was too close to Bellamy.

A low murmur began to sound throughout the camp.

Bellamy stared at me intently. But then, as if by some miracle, it began raining. Bellamy looked up towards the sky, and I took that as my chance.

I bolted away from the scene. I ran as fast I could into the forest. I didn't get far though. I was tacklers to the ground almost as soon as I left the camp fire area. The very populated campfire area. I cursed my stupidity.

However, when I looked to see my attacker, I was released to see that it was John, and not Bellamy. He was completely on top of me. His knees planted each side of my waist. His hand kept mine planted to the ground.

"Jules, where are you goin'" John asked. A cocky smirk played at the corner of his lips. "Things were just getting interesting."

The relief was gone. "Get off of me, John" I demanded.

"I actually like this position" he smirked. "Let's go to my tent. We can try it out again, plus a few different ones."

I scoffed. "As if."

"Bellamy's gonna be here any second" he said. "Either come to my tent or take your chances with him."

"What?" I gasped. I began pulling at his grip. "John, get off!"

"Come Jules, what's it gonna be?"

"Fine! I'll go to your tent. Just get off!"

John was off of me really quick. He pulled me up so fast I felt as though I had received whip lash. He then pulled me out of the forest and through a maze of set up tarp tent. He came to a stop at a rather large one.

"John, wait, I don't want to-"

He pulled me into his tent. The first thing I noticed was the bed. The tent was almost completely bare, except for the bed that was created with loose materials.

"John-"

He cut me off by swiftly placing his lips on mine. My eyes widened as I pulled back.

"John, what in the world are you doing? I don't want to do this with you" I said, knowing his complete intentions for the night.

"It's okay, Jules. You'll get into it some part of the way" he told me. He placed a kiss on my neck.

I pulled him back by the shoulders. "John, stop. Can I just-"

I looked around before letting out a large sigh. I wiped my eyes. "Can I just...sleep in here tonight?"

John had a mischievous smile. "Sure, babe, they're always allowed to stay after."

"No, John, it's..." I suddenly remembered Jasper and Monty. I wish they were here right now. "...it's been a long day. I really just need some rest."

John looked at me strangely. "What's wrong with you? You're acting as though we haven't done this before."

My eyes widened and I quickly propelled myself away from him. "What?!"

I fell onto the bed.

"Just a month ago" he told me.

"John, I-"

"Don't worry, I barely remember parts of it too" he said. "I think we were both pretty drunk."

"But I do have all the highlights" he winked.

I began feeling sick.

"You can stay here tonight, sweat heart, but I'll be acting for more if you want to stay tomorrow" he chuckled. "I gotta go take care of Wells. Bellamy is probably pissed too."

With that said he left. I curled my legs to my chest. I began crying in that moment. As far as I could remember I had morals, self control, and..._taste._

I can't believe I've stooped so low as bunking with John. But then again, I didn't know anyone else, except for Bellamy. But John is better than Bellamy. Right now, everyone is better than Bellamy.


	3. Chapter 3

I felt a soft force on my neck as I began to wake up that morning. It felt hot, and a bit damp. My entire body felt heated, and I felt as though I was enclosed by something. I felt something brush over my bare stomach, where my jacket had risen up in my sleep. The force moved across my stomach, and I felt it rest upon my hip. It then slid onto my thigh.

Because of my tiredness it took me a few moments to realize that it was someone's hand brushing across my bare skin. And then I realized that the force on my neck was a pair of lips. Someone was kissing me, and they were trying to _touch_ me.

I wriggled from my position and found that the person had tightened their grip on me. The person rolled on top of me.

I stared up at John, who was smirking down at me. He was always smirking. I hated that.

"Good morning, Jules" he said. "Have a good sleep? I know I did."

I shoved him off. I know he must of complied, though. I was no where near strong enough to push off on my own.

"What'd you do to me?" I demanded as I rose to my feet. I began checking myself to make sure all of my clothes were still intact.

John chuckled. "What would make you think I did anything?"

"You were kissing me in my sleep" I told him. A shutter of disgust went through my body.

"A small price for letting you sleep in here" he told me.

I shook my head at you before leaving the tent. He quickly followed me out. He hair was disheveled in the morning light, and I realized my hair must be worse. I pulled my hood over my head.

"Don't do that" John said. He reached over to me. He was able to brush his hand across my cheek before I pulled back.

"You disgust me John Murphy" I threw at him as I turned to walk away.

"I like it when you use my full name like that, Jules" I heard him say cockily from behind me. I simply shook my head.

I walked until I came upon a camp fire. I kneeled over it putting my hands at a safe height above the flames. Even with my jacket I was practically freezing. My doctor said I have a problem with heat, I didn't fully absorb it like everyone else did.

I felt John kneeling behind me. He put his arms on my shoulders.

"John, can you please just leave me alone?" I asked. "Thank you for letting me use your tent, but please stop bothering me."

"Still got your wristband on, Jules?" I heard him ask.

My face contorted in confusion. "Yeah, why do you-"

My arms were suddenly forced behind me. My torso was roughly and violently shoved near the flames. I felt the stinging heat sensation prick at my neck.

"John, stop!" I begged.

"Relax, sweat heart, this will only hurt for a second" he spoke. A felt his warm breath in my ear. He was so close, I felt his lips gently kiss the skin right under my ear.

I didn't have time to respond to that though. He thrust me further near the fire, causing me to let out a shriek of pain.

I was moved up slightly. John roughly kept one hand on my neck, and the other keeping my hand captured.

"Check this out, Bellamy" I heard John say. "We want the Ark to think we're dying, right? I figure we should make it seem like we're suffering first."

"Let her go!" Wells voice broke out.

I felt the weight keeping me towards the fire leave, and I scrambled away from the burning pile of wood. I suddenly felt too hot.

I rushed to my feet. I noticed the smirk on John's face directed towards me. Again. My blood boiled. Again. But the image of him holding me over the fire played in my head. Suddenly, I began fearing John more than hating him.

"Are you crazy?" Wells accused. He turned to Bellamy, who seemed to be staring at me in concern. "You can stop this."

"Stop this?" Bellamy asked. "I'm just getting started!"

So much for the concern. I barely had time to react to the current conversation before John made his way over to Wells, punching him in the jaw.

"John!" I gasped out.

He simply set me a wink, before continuing to brawl with the Chancellor's son.

I tried to make peace during the fight. I rushed to John while Wells was still on the ground and begged him to stop.

"Please, don't do this" I begged. "This isn't going to solve anything."

"Sure it is, babe" he told me. He came closer and placed a hard kiss on my mouth, and then pulled back and shoved me to the ground. He wasted no time in getting back into his fight. He was able to give Wells a hard kick before he got up completely.

"Julianna, are you okay?" I heard Bellamy ask me. He placed a hand on my shoulder.

I scooted away from him and stood quickly.

"Julianna..."

"Bellamy, the only way I will talk to you is if you stop this" I told him.

He seemed suddenly fixated on me. "You will?"

I began hesitating, but then I saw John pull out a knife. I realized delaying my answer would only cause Wells more harm from John, and that would be selfish.

I nodded. "Yes, a conversation, in fact."

Bellamy suddenly rushed towards the scene. He took ahold of him by the shoulder.

"Murphy, stop!" he commanded. I let out a sigh of relief. "At least make it a fair fight." Bellamy tossed Wells a knife.

"Oh my gosh..." I whispered. Bellamy made his way back over to me. He put his hand on the left side of my face. I pushed him off.

"Bellamy, what's wrong with you" I spat.

"I did stop it, Julianna" he told me. "I just started it again."

He stepped closer and grabbed my hip. "Bellamy!" He pulled me closer. His right hand moved to my stomach.

"Bellamy, stop touching me! Who do you think you are, John?" I sputter.

Bellamy freezes. His grip on me turns so tight that I have to bite my tongue to keep from screaming out.

"Why the _Hell_ is Murphy touching you?" he demanded. His voice is so strict that I find myself visibly shaking.

"I...I.."

"Wells, let him go!" I heard the doctor suddenly shout. Bellamy quickly separated from me and I looked back towards the fight. John seemed to be loosing, and was in a threatening position before Wells shoved him to the ground.

As the Chancellor's son turned his back, John attempted to attack him again. I interfered.

"John, stop, please..." I put my hands on his chest. "Just let it go."

I felt Bellamy come up behind me. "She's right, let it go."

John rolled his eyes, but obeyed.

I turned my attention to the group of people coming back. I found Monty and sent him a smile. He didn't return it. I looked for Jasper, but I couldn't find him.

"Where's Jasper?" I asked aloud. I was unaware of both Bellamy and John's eyes on me as I asked this question.

"Jasper was hit" Clarke said. My breath deepened. "He was taken by the grounders. We're trying to form a rescue party to bring him back."

Clarke noticed Wells's bare wrist. "Where's your wristband?"

"Ask him" Wells motioned to John.

"How many?" she demanded, marching up to John.

"Twenty-four and counting" he smirked.

"You idiots!" she insulted. She was brave...really brave to stand up to him like that. Even more when she began fighting with Bellamy, causing him to walk off furious.

I cautiously walked up to her.

"Hello?" I asked.

She turned to me.

"I was just wondering if I could come with you" I said. "Jasper is, like, my best friend along with Monty. I really need to help somehow."

Clarke smiled at me, and then nodded. "Of course, wait here, I'm getting a few more people."

I obeyed, staying where I was. I began making conversation with Finn, who was also there. He made me laugh so much, almost as much as Jasper and Monty did.

I felt two hands on my shoulder. I turned to, expecting to see one person, but was surprised to see both John and Bellamy.

"Didn't think we'd let you leave alone, did you Julia?" Bellamy smirked at me. It sent me off edge as he trudged in front of me.

John followed after him, but not before winking and slapping my butt as he passed by.


	4. Chapter 4

As I began walking with the group, I was enclosed by John and Bellamy. Bellamy was on my left, and John was on my right, forcing me to be between the two.

At the moment, I didn't feel like being next to either of them. John because of the fire incident, which still caused my skin pain at the moment, and Bellamy because of...everything. I wanted to be as far away from them as I could get, but apparently that wasn't going to happen.

Every now and then one of them would bump into me, causing me to inhale a sharp breath. John was the least subtle when it came to touching me, for every now and they he would reach over and graze his thumb over the back of my neck.

I finally snapped when went to my lower back, and slowly began going down further. I pushed myself away from him.

"Could you stop?" I demanded. "Please, I'm tired of this."

In a swift move John grabbed me by my forearms and shoved me against a tree. My back hit the bark roughly.

"Sorry, babe, but I'm just getting started" he told me. He was so close I felt his breath hit my face. A certain memory flashed in my mind due to his actions, and I began breathing deeply.

Suddenly, Bellamy grabbed ahold of John's shoulder and ripped him off of me. He then turned to me and placed his hands on each of my arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

For a moment I believed he was actually concerned, but I couldn't help but feel my skin crawl when he touched me.

"Let go..." I pleaded, my voice barely a whisper, my head filled with memories of things he had done to me after shoving me against a wall.

"Hey, cut it out!" Wells yelled. The rest of the group noticed the three of us had stopped walking, and had come to see what was going on.

Clarke came to me and pulled me out of Bellamy's hold. I felt myself shaking, and apparently she felt me to.

"What the Hell did you do to her?" Clarke demanded.

Bellamy looked at her offended and upset. "I didn't do anything, I helped her."

"Come on guys, let's just get going and talk about this later" Wells suggested.

"Oh yeah, we'll go, but only after you take that wristband off, princess" Bellamy said. His voice was cold, and he seemed to have held a grudge over her for challenging his authority.

"The only way I'm taking this off is if I'm actually dead" Clarke said through gritted teeth. "You too, right Julianna?"

All eyes turned to me. "Well, yeah, I guess-"

"She's taking it off as soon as we get back" Bellamy interrupted me. "I'll see to it personally."

The way he said it made me believe him.

"What's the rush, anyways?" John spoke up. "This guys probably already dead."

I felt a flicker of hope leave my body. For a moment I tried to imagine life without Jasper in it. I couldn't.

"Jasper screamed when they moved him, that means the spear didn't hit his chest. He's still alive, but he might not be much longer. So we have to find him soon" Clarke told.

"That means no more goofing around" Wells instructed.

John shoved him. "Why don't you do something about it."

"Hey, enough!" I heard someone yell out. I turned and saw Finn joining us. "You call this tracking? This is terrible, we need to split up. Clarke, you're with me, Bellamy goes with Wells, and Julia goes with Murphy."

I freeze. I see John smirking from the corner of my eye.

"Um...could I go with-"

"Would you rather go with me?" Bellamy asked from beside me. I looked at him cautiously before making my way over to John.

"Please don't touch me" I said as we started walking alongside each other.

I tried to keep things silent. Whenever he spoke, I didn't respond. So he was the only one that really talked. I looked around as he spoke, trying to piece together what other groups were saying. We were told to split up, but everyone was only about ten feet apart. Every now and then I caught Bellamy staring at me. He didn't even try to hide it when I saw him.

John was in middle of talking about why I should let him sleep with me when we heard the loud groan. Finn brought us all to a stop. He led us to a clearing, where we found a large tree. Tied up in the middle of the tree was Jasper, bloody and bruised.

"Oh God!" yelled. I began running forward. Clarke was right behind me. Suddenly, ground beneath me gave out, and I began falling.

I was caught by a strong hold. I looked up to see Bellamy gripping me tightly. His hold was so hard that I felt his nails digging into my skin, creating small cuts. It only took an instant for him to pull me up. He laid me on the ground safely away from the edge. He leaned over me.

"Julia, are you okay?"

I despised myself for what I did next. Bellamy just saved my life and was trying to make sure I was okay, but all I could do was scramble out from under him, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. I could tell he was hurt from my actions.

"Clarke!" I heard Wells yell.

Bellamy turned and noticed Clarke had also fallen, but unlike me she was able to grab a loose tree root to keep her steady.

Bellamy made a move to grab her arm, but he didn't pull her up all the way, not like he did with me. He seemed to hesitate, and he seemed to be staring at something...her wrist. He was staring at her wristband. A sudden thought crossed my mind. Was Bellamy going to let her die? Would he kill her just to get his way?

But before he was able to do anything, Finn and Wells were there, and they were able to pull her up. She was breathing hard as she came up, and she kept sending unsure glances towards Bellamy.

"We have to get him down" she finally said. "Now."

I felt an unsoft slap on the back of my shoulder. I looked up.

"You good?" John asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm good."

My attention was turned back to Jasper. Finn was already making his way up. He gestured for John to help him, which he begrudgingly agreed to.

Suddenly, a growl was heard from the forest.

"What the Hell?" Wells said, looking around confused.

Bellamy suddenly grabbed my arm and roughly set me on my feet. "Stay behind me" he instructed.

A black creature suddenly immersed from the bushes, growling at us, making a predatory pose.

"Oh my God" I gasped.

Bellamy reached for his pocket, looking for his gun that he made sure everyone saw earlier. But it wasn't there. He sent me a worried look. He pulled me closer and made sure I stayed behind him.

But then gun shots rang out, and the creature fell dead. I looked to see Wells holding the gun.

Bellamy smiled. "Now she sees you."

That night people were lined up to get the fresh meet that came from the jaguar Bellamy had taken back to camp. Each person either volunteered to get their wristband off in exchange for the food, or they already had it off.

I began making my way over to the line myself, but was stopped by Clarke.

"We need to talk" she said quietly. I nodded and she led me slightly farther away from the rest of the crowd.

"I know what Bellamy was thinking about doing to me" she began. "Back when I fell, remember? I know you saw it too."

I nodded remembering how he hesitated on pulling her up. "He hesitated" I spoke aloud.

"Yes" she said. "But not with you."

My brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"For some reason, Bellamy didn't hesitate to pull you up, even though you still have your band on. In fact, all he seemed to be thinking about was your safety." she said. "So you can't take it off, you see? You're our best hope for helping the Ark. Bellamy won't hurt you."

I almost scoffed. "Clarke, I don't think that's exactly true-"

"Please Julianna" she pleaded. "Just don't take it off."

"I need food" I told her. "I haven't eaten since we landed."

"But-"

"You need food?" Finn joined us. "Follow me."

Finn led us straight to the front of the line for food, and made a move to grab one.

John stopped him. "Woah, spacewalker, you think you play by different rules?"

"I thought there were no rules" Finn challenged.

The look on John's face as he grabbed two sticks of meat was almost laughable. Clarke soon followed, also taking food, and I felt a burst of courage go through my body. Another guy in line also had the same idea, so we both began going forward.

But suddenly Bellamy made his way over, and he sent a punch to the guy's face, knocking him down completely.

And my confidence was suddenly gone. Leave it to Bellamy Blake to always ruin my confidence. Bellamy turned to me and grabbed my elbow.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"There are no rules Bellamy, we can do whatever the heck we want, remember?" I spoke up.

"Not with you" he hissed. His grip on me tightened, causing me to cringe in pain. "You follow _my_ rules, you do what _I_ say, and you obey _me_. You better get used to that because its going to be a _long_ time before those drop ships get down here. Understand, _Julianna_?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Just-Just please let go of my arm."

Bellamy complied and let go, but he still held a face of complete frustration. He sent me a sharp look before pushing John out of the way of the food.

"I'll take it from here, Murphy. You've caused enough damage already" he spit out.

I turned to leave, but felt John's presence besides me as I walked.

"Got a place to sleep tonight?" he asked.

"I was going to sleep in the top of the drop ship" I told him. "You know, where Jasper and Monty are."

"Actually, you're going to sleep in my tent."

I almost scoffed at him. "And why would I do that?"

"Because you want to get under Bellamy's skin" he told me. "Right now I do too."

I looked at him cautiously. "Fine, but just for tonight."

"Of course" he smirked.

When we got to his tent I immediately laid on his bed, trying to fall asleep.

"You really don't remember when we slept together?" John suddenly asked as he laid beside me.

"Nope" I said. "I don't remember anything from the past five months. I should probably see Clarke about that."

"You won't let me kiss you right now, will you?" he asked.

"No John, why-why would you even ask that?"

"Because I know that once you remember those five months you will."


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: Mentions of Rape**

_"Get off of me!" I pleaded. My hand reached for his neck and I began scratching him in attempts to get him off. But he simply grabbed my wrist, pinning it to the ground along with my other one. He dipped his head down to my neck and placed a soft kiss on my skin. I let out a scream. _

_"Jasper! Monty!" _

_He pressed his body harder against me, pressing my back hard to the floor. _

_His hand suddenly came over my mouth. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this" he told me. _

_He reached into his uniform pocket and pulled out a roll of large tape. He quickly ripped off a piece and placed it over my mouth_, _disabling me from calling for anymore help. The way he had the tape, the way he seemed so prepared...it made me think he was planning this all along. _

_I still squirmed in his grip, kicking him brutally, but that resulted in him picking my torso up, and then slamming me down onto the cold, hard floor of the Ark. _

_My head bursted with pain, and a weariness ran throughout my body. I suddenly felt tired and weak. _

_He took the tape off of my mouth and threw it on the ground. I opened my mouth, but he just slammed my head on the floor again. I found that I couldn't speak, it seemed too hard and painful. All I could do was make soft groaning sounds, trying to catch anyone's attention. _

_But he had made sure the room was shut and locked tight, so I doubted anyone would come. _

_"I'm just doing this because I love you" I heard him say. His voice was once clear, but now it was only a low murmur to my ears. "I love you, and you'll appreciate this one day. One day, you'll love me back."_

_His hands let go of my wrists, and I tried slapping him, though I had little strength left. He slammed me against the floor one last time. Then I stopped struggling, because I felt that I couldn't move. One of his hands rested on my cheek, and the other slithered across my shoulder, before resting on the zipper of my jacket. He pulled it down, and removed my jacket completely, and then unbuttoned and removed my red flannel shirt that I had borrowed from Jasper. I remembered that I liked it because it was easy to change out of at night, because it was easy to get off. At that moment I hated it. _

_His hands made their way to my jeans, and he began tugging at the rusted button. _

_"Please..." I gasped out. "Please...stop..."_

_"It's okay" he told me, gently stroking my cheek. "It's going to be okay."_

_He slightly took some of his weight off of me, but that was just so he could undo the bottoms of his guard's uniform. He then began ripping the material of my jeans, trying to get it off. I felt the jeans come loose, and being taken of. _

_"Please..." I tried again. I felt tears streaking down my cheeks. I then felt him try_ _to wipe them away, but that only made the tears come faster. "Please...stop...Bellamy..."_

_"It's okay, Julia, I'll take care of you" he told me. _

_This time I couldn't find the energy to respond. I felt his lips move to mine, and then to my neck. He bit my neck deeply...and I couldn't do anything about it except let out a pained whimper. _

_He began moaning as he licked the spot between my neck and my collarbone, and his left hand begin squeezing my bare thigh roughly. _

_"Oh, Julia..." He groaned out. "You're so beautiful."_

_I let out a gasp as his nails dug into my skin. _

_"I love you, Julia..."_

"Julia!"

Clark's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up at her, tearing my gaze away from Jasper's quivering form.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Are you okay? You're crying" she told me.

"I am?" I felt my eyes and realized they were wet. I wiped the stray liquid away.

"All I told you to do was tear his flannel clothes off" she said. "I just needed to change his bandages."

"Right" I said. "I'm sorry, I'll go do that."

Jasper let out a sudden, loud groan of pain.

"I'll be right there, Jas!" I called after him. I quickly tore his bandages off, and Clarke began replacing them.

"Is he going to be alright?" I asked her.

"He should be" she told me. "But I may need you to step out for a few minutes."

"What? Why?"

"There's going to be a lot of screaming when I replace the bandages, and you seem squirmish just when he's unconscious."

I bowed my head in shame. "Um, alright then...when can I come back?"

"An hour. Tops."

I nodded before heading completely out of the drop ship. I gave a quick hug to Monty as I left and said a quick 'hello' to Atom as I passed by.

I began walking around the drop ship, but I stopped myself as I caught sight of John. This morning he had suddenly kissed me, and to say I freaked out was an understatement. I had earlier woken up from a nightmare of a very horrible memory, and I had taken things out on him.

"John!" I called him over.

He turned to me, and I saw one of his friends snicker and saw something I couldn't make out. The group around John laughed, but he just had on a sour expression on as he walked over to me.

"Yeah, go Johnnyboy!" one called out.

"Shut up!" John yelled harshly.

"Hey" I said as he came closer. "I need to talk to you about-"

"Don't call me John" he cut me off.

I was startled. "What?"

"Don't call me John, the boys are harassing me about it."

"But I've been calling you John since grade school. What am I supposed to call you?"

"Murphy" he said simply. "Now what do you want?"

I cleared my throat. "Well, Murphy, I wanted to talk to you about this morning."

I smirk grew on his face. "When I kissed you?"

"Yeah, I-I'm sorry that I freaked out so much. You just took me by surprise when you threw me on the bed...my mind was somewhere else" I tried to explain.

"No need to explain, babe. You got intimidated by my good looks" he said, while holding a grin at y expense.

My eyes widened. "No, I-I just had a really bad dream the night before. It's not that you're a bad kisser, it's just-"

"Am I attractive to you?" John suddenly asked me.

"Yes, but-" my eyes widened and his smirk grew. "No, I mean-I-I-I-"

I stopped talking as John stepped incredibly close to me, and backed me up until my back hit the metal of the drop ship. He moved his face daringly close to mine, and I felt myself holding my breath.

"Maybe we could try it again then" he said. His breath hit my face and a shiver went down my spine.

He reached in further, and placed his lips on mine. At first I was frozen, and didn't know what to do. So many thoughts were buzzing through my mind. I had never experienced a kiss where I was able to kiss back before, and I wasn't sure how to respond.

But as John kissed me, I realized something. I really liked him. On the Ark, I never got any attention from boys that were looking for girlfriends. No any good attention anyway...

I guess that part of that was my fault, for I always shyed away from boys after the I experienced the worst event of my life. But down here John has shown me numerous times that he liked me, and I felt myself realizing that he's probably the only one that will ever like me besides Bellamy...and Bellamy is never an option that I am willing I go with.

As I felt John kiss me with a bit more force, I broke out of my thoughts, and placed my arms around his neck. I felt him smirk against my lips. He began making the kiss deeper. My hands roamed from his neck to the hem of his black long-sleeved shirt, while his roamed my sides.

I had to pull away, for the lack of air was suddenly making me dizzy...or maybe that was from John kissing me.

"Look who finally came around" John smirked. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me."

"I-"

"Murphy!"

The sudden shout startled me, causing me to hit my head on the drop ship.

"Murphy, I've been calling you for five minutes" Bellamy scolded his right hand man.

A blush rose on my cheeks. He wasn't here when I came out of the drop ship. Were we really kissing for that long? I looked around and saw I few people watching. My blush deepened.

"Sorry, Blake, my lady held me up" John said, smirking at me. His words made me choke with embarrassment.

"Just go get Atom" he said in an annoyed tone.

John sighed and let go of me. "We'll finish this later" he said with a devious glint in his eye.

"Okay..." I breathed out. He then left to find Atom.

I began making my way to find Wells, but Bellamy grabbed my arm. I flinched, but he didn't let go.

"Murphy, really?" Bellamy spoke with jealousy and anger. "He's just trying to take advantage of you."

"Looked who's talking, Bellamy Blake" I seethed. I tried pulling my arm away, but I still wasn't strong enough.

"I'm trying to protect you!" he yelled. "Why won't you let me?!"

"Leg go of me" I told him. I tried to keep my voice straight, but his loud voice intimidated me.

"Why, so you can just go back to Murphy? After everything I did for you, after everything I did for _us_. You're just going to pick him-"

I loud scream suddenly sounded from the drop ship, startling Bellamy as much as it startled me. He let go of my arm, and I used the chance to run inside. Monty was waiting by the door.

"It's Jasper" he said. "It's bad."

We both quickly climbed the latter, making out way to our sick friend. But before we got to him, Month pulled me aside.

"I saw you kissing Murphy" he began. I looked away and blushed. "What the Hell Jules, why him?"

"He likes me, okay? And I like him."

"Jules, he's not a good person. He'll hurt you. Not just mentally, but physically" Monty told me, he then began pleading. "Stay away from him, please. What will Jasper do if he wakes up and finds out I let you be with Murphy? He's be happier if you were with Bellamy Blake."

"Shut up!" I snapped after hearing the name. I instantly felt guilty as I saw his face fall. "I'm sorry, okay? It's just...you knew my parents. Everything I do wrong they blamed themselves for it, and it made me feel horrible, even you and Jasper did that when we were kids. But with Murphy...I feel good being with him."

"Jules, that's the stupidest reasoning ever" he told me. "Please get out of this thing with him before it's too late."

"Sorry, Monty, but that's not happening. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to help Jasper." 


End file.
